im drinking this country out of the recession.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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