physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
