I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Randomize
