I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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