I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
