at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
