We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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