Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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