i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
