I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
