Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
