That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
