I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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