So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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