half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
