yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize