he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
