cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
