drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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