how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
