Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
