my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
