Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
