He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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