Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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