i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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