all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
