just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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