we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
