I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
