she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
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