i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize