I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
