Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
