Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
i need some magic done to my vagina
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
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