How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
