Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
