nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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