rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
