woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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