Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
