Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
