I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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