i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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