he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
