have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
