the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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