That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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