Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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