Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
