After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
