3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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