How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
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