Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
