butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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