Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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