I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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