I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Randomize