found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize