is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
