I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
50% drunk capacity currently
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
