her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
