apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
