I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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