She's JV to your varsity
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
