is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
